I am surviving the holidays

Surprise surprise I am alive!!  So far I am surviving being alone without my children for the holidays.  I didn't think I could make it through Christmas, but I have.  Yes I was lonely and missed them, but they were just a phone call away.  I am hoping that this time will help us with each other.  I know its difficult with the girls being away from my parents as long as they are, but i do hope they see that the time they DO spend with them, balances out.

I have been working alot between both jobs, during this time.  The bad thing, is its not ME time as I kept saying it was.  I still need to find that "me" thing while living up here.  I do miss going to the gym... and yes I had thought about getting a membership up here, however I am looking at cost.  I am hoping to pay off a few more bills before I do something like that.  Also I want to see what it will cost to get the net at the apartment.  I dont have a land line phone so Im not sure if i would need to do that, but looking into ideas.

Sorry my mind and thoughts are all over the place at the moment.  Just tired and exhausted.  I do need to get to the house and clean.  But here I am sitting at the library checking email, doing my Melaleuca stuff.  yes i started that back up again.  I did notice the difference not only with the cleaning and clothes, but with the vitamins.  Im not ordering alot, just what I need to get the month through with cleaning supplies.

Lets see.... Well since my last update, I went to a movie!!!  Yes I finally treated myself to a real movie... Not just a DVD.  I went and watched Dr. Strange!!! and WOW!!!  I am in LOVE all over again.  I admit it, DeadPool was always my favorite Marvel person, but I have to admit Dr. Strange sure jumped up the ladder.  I decided I am going to add that one to my collection when it comes out.

Not much else to say... thinking about checking out some DVD's here and going home.  I just need to get the kitchen cleaned and the living room.  Figured its a start.  However i am sad, I cant find my IPOD anywhere. :-(

Today's kids

Tonight I am sitting at the local library doing some research and listening to some teenagers talking.  It is sad how they talk bad about their parents because they can't get the new IPHONE or they are not allowed to stay out past midnight on a school night.  The language they are using is just sad, especially for being in a public place not far from children.  It makes me question, where is the respect these kids have for others and for their parents?  Why is RESPECT something of the past?

I am a mother and I notice my kids press buttons with me all the time and yes it gets to me.  There is no respect there, but I am not giving up and hoping they will learn.  I do hope to teach them enough to make good choices in life, and hopefully not to follow their father's path (is incarcerated).  I hope to be the example they need but yet feel that I am failing in.  I know that I am doing better then I believe I am.  Just will take time for me to see that I am not screwing it up.

Nothing to really report about lately, just extremely tired.  Just feel like I haven't slept in a long time... hahaha yes sign im a mom.  But its more than just sleep, I am working 2 jobs and busting my hiney at both.  Just need to catch up on bills and try to save some money to the side for emergency use.  I feel bad because I haven't been able to do that, but with bills its almost impossible.  I have that fantasy that i am able to go back to school and finish my paramedic and be able to do what i want to do.  Yet as a single parent, I know that dream can not be reached at this time. Oh well. 

Anyways I am almost done with my time limit and need to get going.