I must be crazy, so I must be me

What was I thinking?  I moved back to NM to help out with family stuff and so I could get some more assistance with the kids.  I hate it here!  I miss the large city and all of the resources up there that my oldest kiddo had.  Here, I forgot what it was like.  I have to reapply for respite for my kiddo, had to apply for the DD waiver, no specialist for my kiddo, and education (that part is getting better). We found a new dr for her medicines, however we have to drive 130 miles once a month so we can go over medications.  The joys of living in a rural area, is 1 hospital (don't get me started).  Since moving back, my kiddo has been in the ED now 3 times, 2 of those were via ambulance.  The other, I took her in and she ended up being admitted (behavioral caused by medical).

Now the education part, that looked up.  When we first came back, they wanted to place her at the old school.  I fought the placement (and this decision was based of what their old IEP said, and not the UT IEP.  They didn't even look at it till 2nd week into school).  Well I was getting calls again to come pick her up (what they promised they wouldn't do).  Well her caseworker who "promised to be there anytime there was a meltdown/tantrum".  Her idea of being there was skyping with her and talking to her over a tablet and not being there physically to assist during those times.  Well 2 weeks back, there was a huge issue.  I still don't know what set it off but another caseworker called and asked that I show up at the school.  This caseworker that called me, has known my daughter since kindergarten.  His case load became heavy and they moved her to the other lady (which as stated was no help).  By the time I got to the school, she had destroyed the classroom.  Shelves pulled over, chairs tossed aside, desks dumped out, and it was a full meltdown rage.  Well EMS was called, 2 SO officers, 3 firemen, and 2 paramedics showed up.  They finally had to do physical restraints, load her on the gurney, and transport her to the ED. There she was given chemical restraints to calm down.  We kept her home and at that time I was debating on medical home schooling again.  The old caseworker decided to take her case again.  He called and told me that within 1 week she would be attending a new school (the school I had pushed at the beginning to get her in).  He looked over her IEP and agreed with what was written and felt the new school should be a better placement.  He couldn't understand why they chose not to place her but he would make sure it was done.  She has been doing better at the new school, yes there are still some issues but they are handling them as they come.

With all of that said, I decided it was a good time to go back to school.  I am still trying to decide if that was the right thing to do or not.  Yes things are going good, but still with all of the medical and trying to work part time... yikes.  I do want to finish with the full paramedic program (that is still my goal).  I just question how far I can get being a single parent and with all the medical stuff going on. I need to figure out what I can do and what will be possible.  But it feels great being back in the saddle again.  Knowing I can do this and I will do it.  Just need to do more studying and hands on practice.  Also need to work more with the medical math stuff again... they are right if you don't practice, you will forget it.