There is still some good in the world

I have this morning ritual when I head to work, I usually stop off at Starbucks for my Hot chocolate and talk with a few of the people inside.  Right on the corner for the past 4 months has been the same guy who lives in a shelter here.  Someone always buys him a coffee and takes it out to him every day.

Tuesday I noticed the mall manager talking with him.  She was kneeling down and seems they were having quite the intense conversation.  She got up, walked inside starbucks, and returned with his cup of coffee.

Then yesterday:  I skipped starbucks (gift card was empty hahaha) and went straight into work.  It was a typical Wednesday, I'm usually stuck in the fitting room and sorting clothes left from the night before, or hard tagging all the new lingerie to be placed out on the floor.  I noticed the mall manager walking up with a shopping cart of clothes, nothing big, a few jeans, shirts, and 1 dress shirt and tie.  Well following her was the gentleman from the corner.  He still had on his ratty clothes, but he also was shaved and trimmed up.  He took the clothing items into the dressing room and she patiently waited for him.  We started to get busy in the back so I did not have the time to talk to her, and soon he left the dressing room with the clothing items in his hand.

When things slowed down and it was time for me to take my lunch, I walked to the front of the store with some reticketing items and talked with one of our SPS workers.  He told me that the manager offered the man a job of cleaning the sidewalks (picking up trash.. ect).  She bought him a decent pair of shoes, socks, and the clothing he had tried on.  My friend told me that he has talked with the guy on several times.  Apparently he is a Veteran (he had his card), came home and had to deal with PTSD, family leaving him while he was on active duty, and just got caught up with drinking.  He ended up being homeless for over a year, and on several times tried to clean up and get the help he needed.  He ended up hitchhiking last year and ended up out here in Utah.  He was able to stop drinking thought AA meetings at the Shelter, but he still had issues finding a job because of the fact he hadn't worked in such a long time.

This manager offered him a job and also offered to take him to the Department of Workforce to set up for getting funds and food stamps.  She called around and found a place that will allow him to stay, as long as he stays clean, and they provide counseling for those with PTSD.

Today as I drove by work (im at the library across the street at the moment), I noticed he was not standing at his corner, but was walking around and doing the work that was asked of him.


There are times we tend to ignore those asking for funds or help.  We keep thinking if they want the help, its there.  We jump to conclusions (yes i am guilty of this) of thinking they are choosing NOT to work and seek a better life.  Yet do we talk to them?  Yes I am guilty not to, and trust me there are some i would NOT go near to talk.  But there are ways of helping.  There are programs that do help, that are looking for funds, or maybe even clothing donations.  There are people that may not know what is out there for help.  I keep thinking of the scripture Matthew 25:31-40.  I have done service in the past, but I have not done any lately.  This morning as I was listening to my relaxation music while driving here, A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief started to play.  One of my favorite hymns and it has really touched me in a new way.  May we all stand before our Savior and Him saying "Of me thou hast not been ashamed.These deeds shall thy memorial be; Fear not, thou didst them unto me."

So much going on....

Well I would like to say things have been going great, but they haven't been the best.  Things are still going on with Evie and her medical stuff that I don't know which direction I am heading currently.  With all the times I have had to call Emergency as well as the Crisis teams,  just not sure what to do anymore.


With everything going on, I have been questioning a lot about why I am up here away from my family and what good is it here?  Yes I know that kind of thinking is from the advisory and lately he has been working on me 100%.  I am tired of the stress and all the issues that are going on.  So yes with all these stresses, as you can imagine how my personal self is... yea.  Not doing to well.  I need to get in to see Paul this week, but when?  I have meetings like crazy with all of Evies therapists and Natalies, working two jobs... Where do I take care of myself?  When do I have time?  But such is life of a single parent. 


Please do not get me wrong, I regret none of it.  I do remind myself of the bigger picture reminding me why I had moved up here in the first place.  But I could do without the stress and the worries.  My ulcer hasn't acted up in awhile, well this past weekend, it started acting up.  I am just exhausted.  Yes I allowed myself to get ran down, which I had tried to stop, but its kind of hard.


Natalies birthday is this week.  I feel bad because I have to work, and she has let me know that she is upset about it.  I feel awful.  but what can I do.


The good part is we found out the Social Security was approved.  The bad part, I had applied for the Disability and she was approved for supplemental.  So not sure what that means.  I just need to find a time to get downtown to the main office and find out what is going on.


Well that's about it for me.  Im at the library and letting the girls play around some.  I figured I would jam to some music and update a few things...

Men suck.... ok not all of them do

Well with my oldest's medical situation I have had to place my love life on hold.  Ok, not much left of it but the little I DID have.  He was understanding about the situation, however within 3 days he started dating and its serious I.  Not once did he tell me any of this.

Yes I am the one that called it off but however I still feel betrayed about the situation.  But alas, I learned my lesson.  Think i would have learned it everytime this has happened  but nope.

exhausted

If one would look at my arms, they would be questioning "What the hell happened?"  Well they are covered in bruises from my wrist to my upper arm.  It was meltdown city this past weekend with the kiddo :-(

Yes i am ok.  Yes we made it through, but we also had to take a midnight trip the the ER last night because her stomach was really bad.  They were able to get her calmed down so they did NOT admit her to the hospital.  They were able to get her better medicines to help with her stomach.

But yet i question if I can really do this as a single parent?
I refuse to settle just to have that co-parent thing, but i am also wishing i had that blessing of help.

I had to call a friend to watch my youngest so i could follow the ambulance up to the hospital.  I hate that!!  I hate asking for help!!  Yet i know, that is the only way i can make it work here.  I just wish i had other help thats all.

Anyways I better get going.  Just came to the library to finishing some paperwork for a job.  I better get home so i can get Evie her meds again then head to do more paper work