This has been a tough week for me. I am seriously thinking about a few things and changes that I need to make. I don't know where to go from here, just keep praying about things I suppose. Right now I feel like I have lost faith. Do I feel my prayers are being heard? Yes. But why are the answers being withheld?
I have 2 weeks to find a new place to live and that is the major struggle. I have been looking and doors are just closing and its frustrating. I KNOW this is where I am suppose to be. Everytime I pray about it, it feels peaceful. Yet why is one of the major struggles that I am having being withheld? I just don't understand. The one time I need a blessing, I still have not met my home teachers.
Anyways, I decided to take a small break from facebook. I am going to tell a certain guy that I just cant marry him. I know he will be hurt and angry, but right now I have to work on me, and all these issues I'm dealing with from the past. This is part of the PTSD. Your brain needs to be retrained and its been 6 years since I had the issue... so its 6 years I need to recover. There are just certain things that are getting to me and I don't want to say anything because I know it will come out defensive and wrong. But this is just who I am. Yes every relationship is different and everyone goes through the good and bad, but someone like me who went through things, those things take the front plate and become an issue.
anyways that's it for me. I don't know what I going to happen with us.....
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