Since I have been dealing with all of Evie's medical stuff, tantrums, and meltdowns, I have came to the conclusion I might have found WHY I am dealing with all of this. It is sort of like the "Pay it foward" thing.
Back home, I had felt alone dealing with everything and not understanding what to do, or how to handle it all. I walked on egg shells dealing with all of her issues due to the fact she realized she had a grasp over me that caused alot of problems for me. Then I had learned she was getting a new Primary teacher and I was ready for the worst. She does not handle changes to her set schedule at all. Well it turns out the teacher was a friend of mines mom. I remember her coming over and working with Evie till she got used to her. I knew she had a son with Autism, but never knew him when he was younger. She helped me by talking with me and helping to get Evie to alot of her activities.
Well a month before we moved, I remember us sitting in Relief Society, and I dont remember the lesson or what it was about. But several of the sisters were asked to talk about something and how their testimonies grew from those struggles. This sweet lady was not able to be in the lesson but had written her stuff done to be read. Let me just say I was moved to tears. In her letter she talked about the nights she had to deal with the autistic son, situation that would occur and as i listened to it I just KNEW i needed to be there. Things she had went through with her son, was what I was currently (and still currently) going through with Evie. That day I went up to her and thanked her for sharing her trials with me through the letter. I remember what she said, "I am glad it helped. I never want to be the person to say I am dealing with what you are going through, because I am not. I had a husband that helped and you are dealing with this as a single parent. But I know what I shared will help you."
Here it has been 6 months (sure does not seem like it, and I still questioned alot and asked 'Why me?' I know we may not know or understand why we face the trials we do in this life, but I do believe Heavenly Father did show me a little of why me. This is my pay it foward...
This past weekend, the girls and I had attended our wards Trunk or Treat. I am always on my toes about going to such things, because, Well i am not the social butterfly I used to be. I am more of a wallflower now only because I dont know if i have to bolt out with one of the kids having their issue. However, we sat down to eat dinner and a lady asked if her and her son could sit with us. I said no problem. I have talked to her from time to time at church but not often. Her son asked if Evie could go play with him. This i thought nothing of, but she had the look of shock and said Yes if it was ok with me. Well the girls went to play with their new friend and the mom and I had talked. Apparently he is going through alot of the same issues as Evie, and she is a single parent as well. I remember the Bishop looking at us and said that we needed to find a time where her and I could just talk. I may not be able to help her, but I do know that the struggles I have had, might give her some insight to how to help her son. I was able to talk to her the other night and told her Evie was back up at the hospital again. She said she kind of figured since she saw the firetruck and ambulance outside of our apartment. She wants to get her son up to UNI (University of NeuroPsychiatric Institute) to get evaluated. So I talked to her about the steps of having that happen and even gave her the number to the Crisis team.
I still may not be able to understand why I am dealing with what I am dealing with. But Heavenly Father knows. Last night we had a small issue again and yes once again the police had to come out to help with her. In fact the one officer has been to my apartment several times when fire shows up. He talked with me for about 30 minutes on what my next step needs to be. I am grateful for that. I may not like what he had to say (and it is what I had expected, her tantrums are the issue) but he was right. It had opened my eyes on alot of it.
I do know her meltdowns will always be there, and with those I just ride the wave and hope she settles down. But the tantrums are where I need to get under control. Yes I had allowed those to get this bad because I was scared to punish her (from previous issues). But I know the officer was right on how to get those under control.
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